i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
