in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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