FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
