I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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