So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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