she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
