I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
