ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
