someone get that fucking seahorse.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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