nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
