Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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