sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
