why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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