also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
