Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
