she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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