I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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