when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
