Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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