masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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