Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
