Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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