Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
