All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
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