I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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