the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
