I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
