No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
