just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
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What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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