yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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