You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
