I'm pants shitting drunk right now
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
