Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
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Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
You were trust falling into bushes
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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