so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
