I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
