Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
He kissed a someone with a penis
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
