Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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