I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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