If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
he puts the penis in happiness.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
