I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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