I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
