I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
