I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize