the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
