so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Randomize
