I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
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