My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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