If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Randomize
