It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I will pee on everything he values.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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