I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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