I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
