Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Randomize
