I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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