No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
a search helicopter?!
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
