lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
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