he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
