it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize