I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
