He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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