I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
My vagina is officially offended.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
