so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize