I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
